H. Blackworth's Diary

I had a dream in which I sent a text message to charlycrash about something that I can't remember, and he replied with a long message all about Mary Sues. I was going to a party, apparently, and I was sitting on a very soft sofa. I can't remember anything else from the dream.

Today my friend normalityloser gave me a new and rather radical hairdo, I finally got a mohawk yay! Can't wait to see my parents' reactions.( Picture here )

The morning before yesterday I took a look from the window and first I thought that I was in London. Why? Because it was DARK AND RAINING. It's the beginning of December, it should be SNOW and ICE here but no, it's raining water and it's windy and not even cold ENOUGH, just a little bit! I hate global warming already.

Just wrote two essays in Swedish so I thought I would need something to write in English for a change.


I have many of them, actually. But to spare your friends page I'll just list some of them.

Rainbow - Stargazer
Loved this since forever, maybe. An eight-minute-long "suffering" with philharmonics, epic guitar solo by the legendary Ritchie Blackmore, epic lyrics and most importantly, bombastic and beautiful singing by Ronnie James Dio. The story this song tells is most captivating and it can be interpreted in numerous ways - it could be an allegory of Nazi Germany and Hitler, for instance. "Just to see him fly - but we don't know why." The way Dio sings them is something almost orgasmic, especially in the end when the climax begins, the violins begin to chant their melancholy chorus and Dio screams so heartbreakingly "My eyes are bleeding, and my home is lead ahead, but it's not home! It's not home. Time is standing still, would you give me back my will?" Every time I listen to it, shivers run through my spine. It's not difficult for me to say that Stargazer is the best song ever recorded in the history OR future of mankind.

Kumiko Noma - Lilium
I have never seen Elfen Lied, and I read the manga long after I heard this song. I have loved it since 2005 when I saw this animation called "Lilium". Oh well, I didn't immediately fall in love with the song, though I have always liked it. I began to fully understand the beauty of this just this spring and it has inspired me to write stories and poems and it has almost made me weep out loud. The lyrics are very beautiful. I can't tell why, but the part "O quam sancta, quam serena, quam benigna, O castitatis Lilium" always gets me.

Cinema Strange - Intermezzo: Bright Violet Euphoria
Beautiful instrumental piece. I just love the dreamy, mystic, almost melancholy atmosphere. I heard it for the first time just at this spring but Hell I still can raise this to be one of the best pieces of instrumental music in the world.

Jean Sibelius - Finlandia
Because I'm just that patriotic.


There are many, many more songs, but I hate this keyboard. Sorry.

Had Philosophy exam today and all I can say is LOL, LOL and LOL. I didn't really study because I understood almost nothing of it, simply because our teacher doesn't know how to teach. He brings articles and talks about interesting things, of which nothing is about the things we should be studying on the course! He has strong opinions and everything but sometimes it becomes so difficult to concentrate and focus on his classes because he's so... Well. Boring.

Not nearly as interesting as our History teacher, of who's exam I did not go to because I hadn't studied enough for it because of the concert of Deep Purple that was on Wednesday. It was awesome, though it wasn't nearly as good it was in the year 2007 when they came to Helsinki - this time they came to my home town you see. But I loved the way the started their gig with "Montagues et Capulets", and Don Airey played a short part of Finlandia during his keyboard solo.

I just told my Father that when I quit with the camp counsellor work in our Church, I will resign from the institution. I have told my parents that many times but now it seemed almost as a shock to my Father, who immediately asked if I did the decision by myself and used my own consideration. Err... Why would I resign from church because of others' opinions? I don't believe in the word of the Bible though the book contains some good wisdom, but why should I stay and pay taxes to an institution of which's beliefs I don't share? For Christ's sake. So to speak.

Recently Dad has been criticizing my other decisions as well. I have said that I want to go and study Theatre and he says I should go and study English. Of course I would love to study English! I would love to go to an university and study English Philology, but what profession will I end up at? English teacher? Sorry, but no thanks, I don't want to be a teacher. I would also love to research History and study it and oh the libraries of universities! But no. I would end up as a teacher. I don't want to teach, I want to study English, the accents and everything, and History, the World Wars and all that for my own fun, not for a profession, and of course because English is so well taught and known language in Finland, an English Philology student wouldn't have a good position when going to working life. There are too much of them. There are too many journalists also, so I won't go study Journalism either. The only thing that is left for a fair future is Theatre, and in Finland, actors don't have too big paychecks. It's also very difficult to get into the University of Theatre, Teatterikorkeakoulu.

Fuck, I don't know.

I freaking LOVE "Yes, Minister" and "Yes, Prime Minister" just how ever did they manage to learn these lines?

The fact that you needed to know was not known at the time that the now known need to know was known, and therefore those that needed to advise and inform the Home Secretary perhaps felt that the information that he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known, and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not, at that time, known or needed.

My girl friend bought a book about Hitler's death and I got to know some unnecessary facts about Joseph Goebbels. Some of them being that when he died, he was wearing dark silky socks, and that his lungs were dark red. Which is interesting because from what I know I thought that he was a chain-smoker. What the hell.

Been writing a lot lately! This one story of mine, Lepattajat, is my Christmas present for a friend, of course a Nazi pairing but I write it in Finnish, and it'll last for about 14 chapters with a prologue and an epilogue. For the last three weeks I've been writing it almost daily. I'm very proud that I'm able to write some prose in Finnish after a long, long time, and it will be the longest story I have ever written. I hope and I am very positive that I will finish it. Maybe it'll be late for Christmas, but oh well.

I tend to be fascinated by individual sentences. I feel like listing some of them here. Hahaha deal with it!

And it isn't, so it wasn't. Heard it from Yes, Prime Minister, after one of sir Humphrey's those long monologues. It's fun to say.
Dom skulle vilja vara som oss. This sentence is Swedish, and it means "they would want to be like us".
Siehä sälli olet! Finnish, meaning "You're one heck of a man!" from a novel called "The Unknown Soldier"
I find your lack of faith disturbing. Darth Vader's line from Star Wars, a line that taught me how to use the idiom "lack of smth" properly.
Somebody's lickin' shots off. From Eminem's song "One Shot 2 Shot". He says it very nicely.

I was going to rant about the new president of EU, nothing against Van Rompuy but I'm a bit suspicious towards having a president as if the EU was one nation. But I don't know about it enough; why do we need a representative for the whole EU? Of course Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy are behind Van Rompuy, which scares me a bit because I don't like Merkel's or Sarkozy's political views. Guess that I'm too "left" then.

From BBC News:

US President Barack Obama said the appointments would "strengthen the EU and enable it to be an even stronger partner to the United States".

How exactly do the appointments strenghten the EU?

First of all, what do you think about naming a fanfic/story after a song/taking the name from the song, even if it wasn't a songfic? Let's say that the song inspired you so much that you find it's name very fitting to the story. I think this is kind of lame, because in most cases the name doesn't fit the story so well. This depends on the case, but what do you think?

Secondly, what do you think about naming the story with another language than the language it is written with? I have one Axis Powers Hetalia-fic that I have named in Russian, even though it is written in English. I am working on this rather long story in Finnish, and I have been pondering about the name. I have gained inspiration from so many songs that are sung in English that when I have been thinking about the name I have too many times thought about the name in English. I do have a few names in Finnish too, and they are song names, and they are such song names that if I use any of them I would have to give the reader some of the lyrics of the song, the most fitting parts, in the beginning of the story.

Did any of that make ANY kind of sense to you? I hope so. I would like to hear your opinions on this, if you have opinions about this that is.

HAHA copypaste from my deviantArt!

Happy belate Halloween to everyone who celebrated it! I was invited to Lady-Mimi and co.'s Halloween party because our inner circle celebrates Halloween every year, but this I think is the first year I couldn't make it to the party! I was travelling around Finland with my girl friend Eija and Viivi, we drove (as in EIJA was driving the whole way) from Haapavesi to Helsinki on Saturday (about 600 kilometres), the night between Friday and Saturday we spent on the expense of Eija's parents in Haapavesi.

The trip went well and we had fun, it wasn't too exhausting for Eija either and in the evening we went to the biggest gay bar in the Nordic countries, the DTM. The music was crap in the early evening, from 10PM to 11PM, but then in the upstairs they began playing 90's hit songs and darn it we had good time. I didn't even drink much, I just got challenged to throw down a shot glass of mint vodka (is this even the right term my Finnish friends help me with this; "MINTTUVIINA" in English..!) and whisky. I did it and yep, it was strong stuff, but the dizziness went away almost instantly. The girl who challenged me had two arguments on why I would be the right person to drink it.
1. I was wearing an Iron Maiden-shirt.
2. I have a girl friend who looks like "a half-Nazi".

What rock-solid arguments those are!

- Tomorrow going to Helsinki with my girl friend and Viivi, to a housewarming party and then going to party in a local gay bar. Going to have a lot of fun there.
- Listened the whole Total War speech of Joseph Goebbels today. I still love his speaking tone, oh God.
- Downloaded the whole production of The Tiger Lillies and goddamn I love the band more and more. The Russian in the market square..
- Lot of things to do. No will to do them.
- The soundtrack of The Rocky Horror Picture Show have been playing in my head lately.
- Wrote 20 notebook pages of a story I call "Bunker Break", and it's in Finnish. Also, I've created a rather nice OC, Col. Donald Letherson. I almost never create original characters, but now I needed one for the story. He makes the plot a lot richer.

Question I am stuck with in a game. I bought this game called "Arsène Lupin versus Sherlock Holmes" and oh my it is already driving me nuts in its awesomeness and level of difficulty. The graphics and the music are beautiful and I think I'll get very much pleasure and entertainment from the game. And I will rip my hair off because of Arsène's riddles.